Maybe it's just me.

I'm not really sure what to say. for the last three years I've studied poker tried to improve and really hope I can make something of it. Well today in conjunction with the last few sessions have made me re-think this. It's funny I'm having to post this after I just posted a link to this blog at cardrunners. Quite simply I cant win. I can't win when I get no hands hour after hour then get big hands only to have them get either sucked out on or simply coolered.

Im frustrated beyond words right now as after working back up to $135 I thought I could really turn it around but now I'm feeling that a poker player is imply a result of their environment. It sucks I've become the one thing I've always hated, the whiny little bitch who sits there complaining how much better the good players run. It just hurts to read how someone can push in $35,000 while Green Plastic is holding quads yet I've lost about 5 buy-ins with over pair vs under pair in the last few session.

I've got about $100 in rakeback coming to me plus the $50 I've got right now. I won a home game the other night for $100 so I'm questioning on using that to buy a lesson with fruitypro but at the moment it all seems so pointless. Even playing optimal right now I can't see how I'd be winning given the situations I've faced. All through my poker life I've heard how I've had to concentrate on long run +Ev etc. etc. but to have a long run you have to out last the short run and it just seems like a horrible pointless situation right now.

I pokerhanded all my coolers but fuck it who wants to read it it's just all a big whinge and even though this extremely long winded post doesn't begin to explain how disappointed I am I'm somewhat at a loss for words just how hard it seems to grind out winnings and reach that 5bb/100 yet it's so easy to simply get stacked again and again and again in fucked up situations.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do, at the very least I won't be playing for a few days.

bankroll - $50